Wednesday, 1 August 2012

Jimmy World News: Olympic Channel Surfing Edition

Time for your daily dose of stupid whining. According to The Daily Mail the BBC's attempts to cover EVER SINGLE FUCKING event of the Olympics, bringing them to the homes of the millions of people who were disappointingly unable to get tickets, has been a complete failure! And all because the sheer enormity of the Olympics and volume of events happening simultaneously forces people to change channel half way through an event. And apparently pushing buttons on a remote is equitable to an Olympic event now! 

"Stop doing that! I feel like I’m participating in the Olympics, chasing after the TV channel." 

cried one whiny bitch. Fuck! Throw in a stipulation about having to eat Doritos and drink bourbon and it'd finally be the chance I've been longing for to live my Olympic dreams.

Britain's latest Olympic hopefuly training hard.
My favourite quote about this, though, has to be:

‘Didn’t realise gymnastics switched to BBC3, been watching horse riding for about 20 minutes.’

...What. The. Fuck?! How did you not realise for twenty minutes?! Were you too busy masturbating to the gymnasts you'd already seen? Did you think they'd really let themselves go in the looks department all of a sudden? Or were you expecting the horses to start performing a complex routine on the balance bars? 

Man these Russian chicks look a little rough.
...Because admittedly that would be pretty awesome. Maybe it could be introduced to the 2016 Olympics? Then again I'd probably miss it as I'm far too fat and lazy to change the channel as athletes from around the world, at the top of their game, give their all in an attempt to represent their country and entertain people from all over the world.

*Special thanks to Kate Garratt for bringing this idiocy to my attention*

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