Monday, 28 November 2011

28th November 2011

Okay, time for me to help another bunch of hapless losers with their problems, on account of it being one of the terms of my bail for punching up that store Santa the other dayHey, if people didn't want me punching up the emboiment of the holiday season (That's right. screw you Jesus!) then they shouldn't have started playing Christmas music back in October.  I swear...One more rendition of 'All I Want For Christmas' and I'll...Crap! My parole officer is coming...Quickly...Onto the letters!
I've been with my boyfriend for 8 monhts now and he is 16 going on 17 in Decemeber. I'm going to turn 18 in November and I want to go to a club. But he says no because he will get jealous and thinks that I will dance with other guys and drink and get wasted and yeah.. And he's not going to be there to watch what I'm doing. Who do you think is right?
I think you can dance if you want to! You can leave your boyfriend behind. ‘Cause he don’t dance. And if he don’t dance well… he’s no friend of mine.


Yesterday a girl licked inside my mouth for about 10 second. Just like that! I was too stunned to do anything and she only stopped when I coughed, and then she left without saying anything.
Does this count as my first kiss?
Errrmm… Fuck no. It counts as a girl licking inside your mouth for ten seconds. But the main issue here, which you seem to have completely overlooked, is that this girl is completely batshit insane and more than a little freaky in the sex department. So keep an eye out for her, you’re definitely onto a winner.
I've been friends with a guy for a little while now and lately our relationship has got quite close. Recently I've not stopped thinking about him and I really like him. The trouble is he is really flirty with everyone and it is impossible to tell if he feels anything toward me or not. How on earth do you tie down a guy like that? Its not enough to just flirt a bit or act interested because he's so used to it from so many other girls!! I really need a little help - please!

Well if you really want to tie him down you’ll want to use a fairly low gauge rope, and ideally something made of synthetic material like cotton or polypropylene for his comfort, rather than the industrial type stuff you used to climb in P.E
 As for the knots themselves you only really need to master a square (or reef) knot, and a clove hitch, both of which are fairly simple to teach yourself. Or alternatively you could just cheat and pick up some bondage tape for about a tenner.


My mother died when I was 7 in a car crash, my father has recently rejected me because his new love is more important so he sent me to my gran who has cancer and quite hard to look after and on top of this I have stress from GCSE's.
I can't deal with it, and I feel like I have no one to talk to. When my mother died, I showed no emotion and to this day I've stayed the same, I was put in counseling for 10 months but I refused to talk about any problems. I can't think of a reason why so much rubbish would happen to me, I mean I'm 15 what have I done to deserve to be orphaned basically. Please help me out, some advice on helping with stress would be great. Thank you x

…The fuck? I thought you weren’t talking about your feelings. So stop being a pussy, quit yer whining and cowboy up.
If you really feel the need to talk to somebody about it, then start up a live journal account. They’ll eat up this emo angsty crap on there.


I met my guy friend last year and he hit on me at the club and wanted to get my number, but then I was already dating someone. But after i broke up with my ex, later on he asked me out on a date and I went. We had a good time, but I was already dating another guy cuz i hated my ex and wanted to see what else was out there. it seems like its always bad timing for us.
And now my friend is all googly eyes over him and likes him. I asked him to go clubbing with us because me and my girl friend needed a guy to back us up in case guys won't get off our backs. Maybe I should not have played hard to get, but I am very very shy while my friend is outgoing and very social. I told my girl friend that I like him when she asked if I did and then next day she tells me that she liked him too..
I actually told her in the beginning couples days after she met him, that I sorta have feelings for him and how he kind tries to look out for me... But she goes out with him still...
Do friends do that? I mean if a friend tell you that you like a guy, do they really tell you that they like them too? I met her last year, so I havent known her for that long, but she's the only friend that is closest to me that I met in such a short period of time. I think she is a really cool and great friend, but why does she have to tell me she likes him too after I told her that I did?
I think my guy friend likes her too, cuz he keep asking me about her, but honestly I don't think he knows what he wants after i reject him, he turns to another girl. My girl friend spoke to him about her guy problem and she broke up with her ex and now she likes my guy friend. She told me that she and him had lots of things in common, though iono if its true since they only met not too long ago? She told me she feels bad and that she won't do anything, but So I just told her its ok, if you like him have him since I don't like him that much, but I did. I just did not want my other friends getting on my case and I did not want to cause drama and tension between us. But next day she said that, she goes out with him for lunch.
I am not upset that they want to be together, I am mostly upset that she not being upfront about this with me that she is really dating him after she said she feels bad. Well if she feels bad, then do you just go for your guts and don't care about friendship? At least tell me what's going on, otherwise it just cause tension between us which it is.
All my friends knows about him now, she been telling him to all our friends and I have to listen in on it which makes me feel awkward and upset... Sometimes I don;t think she's being a good friend to me.... and I can tell and I think she can tell that there's tension between us when we talk about him.

Long term readers will no doubt know EXACTLY what this situation needs…

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