Well,
despite screwing up Halloween this year I’m at least managing to update fairly
regularly. Which means that once a month I get a free pass to be bitter, snide
and rude to anybody I like. Hey! You know who that reminds me of? Women:
My
wife found the diary I keep charting her monthly cycle so I could tell when her
moods would change – and all hell broke loose!
She
is 34 and suffers from a severe form of PMS. I’m 40 and I’m not sure how much
more I can take. She
has just left and taken her youngest children to her mother’s, leaving me and
our oldest here. Both the children were sobbing. She
yelled at me: “What kind of f***ing man are you? Grow a pair of b***s.” My life
is a living hell.
She
keeps accusing me of cheating when she gets this way. I either get the silent
treatment or a petty row erupts into a massive argument. I’m either at home or
at work – I’d never cheat on her. Why
can’t she see that her hormones are turning her into a monster once a month.
---Wow.
Okay. I want to call you a dumbass for letting her find the diary, but the idea
to find the diary itself was pretty shrewd. I guess you average out as being of
normal intelligence.
The
diary is a step most men would never have thought of on their own. So thank you
for passing that on, along with the importance of why such a document should
always be well hidden.
Rest
assured that your sacrifice isn’t in vain, and you have helped millions of men
who have to face their own she devils on a monthly basis. To honour your
sacrifice, when your horribly mutilated remains are inevitably found, I will do
everything I can to make sure you are sainted and buried on consecrated ground.
I hope this gives you some comfort as you stare down your own mortality.
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I
work in a big team and my Manager is a very dominant girl of about 33 ( I am 24
). She is attractive and I keep having very kinky fantasies about her. Mostly I
do good work but once or twice she has told me off and I sort of re-run these
events in my mind but with her spanking me as a punishment. I have not had
these fantasies before. Is it okay? Are they normal?
Dude,
if you find yourself attracted to the thought of a dominant woman, then don’t
worry. Have you even LOOKED at the internet lately? There are millions of sites
that cater to this fetish. It’s a fairly normal one.
You
only really need to worry if you find yourself developing Klismaphilia, Vorarephilia, Hybristophilia,
Inflatophilia, Burusera, Robot fetishism and/or Plushophilia.
…Go ahead. Google them. You’ll thank me later!
…Go ahead. Google them. You’ll thank me later!
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My neighbour who I like very much ( as my best friend ) asked me this
question lately : who's your best friend. It was him but I couldn't tell him
because he told me about HIS best friend who actually wasn't me. so I couldn't
just tell him. I told him I didn't know but it was a huge lie. I can't tell him
because it will be humiliating and I plan on telling my other neighbour sarah.
I can't do a thing because he does not like me as much as I do. So what do I
do?
Tough it out, after you turn 13 all this ‘best friend’ crap falls by the
way side. And by the time you turn 20 you’ll hate everybody equally and see
people in terms of what they can offer you to meet your own goals, rather than
this ‘friendship’ crap.
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I
have spent more than five grand watching girls performing on webcam and I think
I have a serious porn addiction.
I’m
25 and see porn as a ‘must do’ activity rather than something I do for
pleasure. It’s making me depressed.
My
sex life has taken a nose-dive. I either can’t get an errection or I climax too
quickly. I’m so embarrassed by it.
I
believe you may be right, about this being a serious addiction. Five grand is a
lot of money. Seriously, what the hell is wrong with you? There’re plenty of
free porn sites out there, most of which update daily. Send me your contact
details and I’ll send you a list of the best ones. They have cater for
everything, including Klismaphilia,
Vorarephilia, Hybristophilia, Inflatophilia, Burusera---
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I recently met someone online. We hit it off straight away and met.
Stupidly on our 4th date we slept together. That was wednesday (3rd oct). We
agreed to meet the following sunday (7th oct). The thursday he was gine. Then
he was apparently ill on the friday so I left him to it. I hear nothing from
him all day. I message him on the saturday and finally got through at about 1.
He still claimed he wanted to meet and would text me details. I finished work
at 10 amd still nothing. So I send him a text for a quick call to plan. He tgen
says he's too stressed to meet on sunday. But he said we will meet in the
week... Yet I have heard nothing all day. I have only sent one text saying
morning, hope he'ss feeling a little better and I miss him. Nothing.
Can you give me advice on what to do. I'm
desperate as I really like this guy ans worried he was using me...
You probably should have given him a blowjob instead of wasting all that
time with ‘Foreplay’ crap.
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I am writing about a friend of mine, as he has
gotten himself into a bit of a pickle and im trying to help
I got together this guy 18 months ago and we
really get on well,( we plan to live together after xmas) im a single mum of 3
and he has been BRILLIANT, i want to point out that he is bi-polar, but deals
with it remarkably.
prior to my meeting him, he was a lad about
town, and quite often ended up in trouble with the police, 20 years ago it was
quite serious he ended up in prison a couple times, but he has straightened
himself out in the last 5,
in 2010 he hit on hard times and had to claim
benefits, as he just couldnt manage, we werent together at this time, he was
going to come off benefits in 2011 but his home was burgled and he really found
it difficult to cope, he therefore carried on claiming housing benefit, to help
with his rent, he told the council that he was earning only £120.00 per week as
a driver,although he was getting somewhere between £180.00 and £220.00, this
was before he had to take out his expenses such as fuel running costs of
vehicle etc, he was renting a trading name from someone who took a percentage
of his incomings, in cash!
Things started to change for him this year and
in August he contacted his council and notified them that as of september he
wouldnt be claiming any further benefits, and on the 1st September he went into
the housing benefit office and cancelled his claim in writing.
In August, he had a bit of an email arguement
with someone, and they contacted the police stating he was harassing them,
unfortunately he was arrested in september, and the police took away his
laptop, even though he admitted to sending this guy 7 emails, the police put
him on bail and told him to return in 6 weeks, he is now in a proper state
because he is worried that the police will see his invoices on the laptop and
get the council involved, even though he has already cancelled his claim, he never
expected this to happen
I am deeply worried about him now, he isnt
sleeping properly or eating, he thinks he is going to end up in prison, as this
seems to be the norm of anyone convicted of benefit fraud, I just dont know
what to do or say to help him, I tried to convince him that has he cancelled
his claim before any of this happened, it will be ok, be he wont accept it, i
really need help please
I suggest you use the remaining time you have together wisely, by which
I mean get the blueprints of the local prison tattooed onto his body, and have
him marry Holly Valance for some convoluted reason. You may also want to buy
him a few books on Origami. Don’t worry you should have plenty of money for
that kind of thing thanks to your ill gotten cash flow.
Oh! And I can't believe this even needs a special mention but apparently it does, but if he runs into a guy named 'T-Bag' while he's in prison, he should stay the hell away.
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My best friends ex fancies me and her ex and i are good friends but i don't feel the same way back. How can i avoid an awkward situation without losing any friends.
Threesome.
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My girlfriend will only have sex when we've both been drinking &
it's causing problems between us. There have been a few times when I haven't
been able to get hard which I put down to booze. When we woke up the next
morning I was ready to go (so to speak) & she said she wasn't in the mood.
Whenever we've speant the night together sober she makes it clear if I'm
staying over we can only cuddle then sleep. When we talked later she said she
needs to be drunk to fancy sex. I said we should compromise but she says she
won't like it sober. Any advice is welcome.
(A few side notes if they make a difference. I'm 25 she's 31. She has only been with one other guy who died 6 years ago & they were together 5 years. She has slight issues with her weight, she's only 5 feet tall &UK
(A few side notes if they make a difference. I'm 25 she's 31. She has only been with one other guy who died 6 years ago & they were together 5 years. She has slight issues with her weight, she's only 5 feet tall &
Maybe she just has a very specific sex drive and doesn’t realise it,
and alcohol is the only way to bypass these needs.
Her ‘Stop talking $hite’ comment was her unconcsiously trying to let you know she's into she’s into
fecalphilia, but you should look into the possibility that she is into Klismaphilia, Vorarephilia, Hybristophilia, Inflatophilia…
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My girlfriend of over a year wants to become an escort because she says
its purely non sexual, but yet the website she plans to enlist herself on is
full of other naked escorts, but why naked if sex isnt involved? Also there are
rates for "overnight".. what is the best way to handle the situation?
Don’t expect more than a 25/75 split. After all she will be doing all of
the work, and all that sex can get tiring.
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Well I've had a lapse in judgement recently, and sent a guy friend some
explicit pictures. Since then i haven't heard back from him and hes ignoring me
on social networking sites (ie deleting me on fb). I did trust him as we have
many mutual friends and even went to the same school. I realize there's a high
chance he may show the pictures to other people now too and that he wont be
contacting me anytime soon. I just wondered what the best thing to do now is?
do i just sit tight and not let it bother me or should i try to ring him? etc?
Hmmmm, well I can’t advise you on this one without all the information,
so please re-send your letter with the pictures attached. I can then let you
know if you should just let him sell them to whichever porn sites would have
them, or if he’d be doing the world a service by destroying them.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
One of my closest friends has invited me to come on holiday with her and
her family during October Week. Two years ago I went away with her family and
had a great time and last year she cam away with mine and again we had a great
time.
However, I don't really want to go.
Last year, I was given a lot of homework and so
had to fit it into the Saturday and Sunday after I got home but before I went
back to school. So I ended up having two completely stressful days where the
whole day was just filled with doing homework and I kind of wanted to avoid
that.
Also, I had kind of planned to take it easy this
holiday. Spread my homework out over the week and use the rest of the time to
de-stress and perhaps go out a couple of times with friends.
However, I feel terrible.
I know she really wants me to go but I honestly
just don't feel like it.
What do I say?
Your best course of action is to fake your death. Or tell your friend exactly
what you just said…But personally I think the faking death thing is the way to
go. I know a guy that knows a guy that can get you a great discount on an
unclaimed John Doe. He’s helped out after many a one-night stand.
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I'm in love with this guy but we live on opposite sides of the world and
I don't see how it's going to work. He hasn't called me since I went on holiday
and saw him and we don't really know eachother that well, but I don't want to
let go. Should I?
I hate to break this to you, sweetheart, but you’re not in love. This
was a fling and now you’re in love with an over romantic fantasy that can never
live up to the reality. It’s an idealisation that the reality can never live up
to, just like my ‘love’ for Zooey Deschannel.
…Oh God, Zooey. I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean that. I can change. Don’t leave me! Why don’t you reply to my letters? You don’t have to use your own blood too, you can just use a normal pen.
…Oh God, Zooey. I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean that. I can change. Don’t leave me! Why don’t you reply to my letters? You don’t have to use your own blood too, you can just use a normal pen.
Why did you start drawing your blinds? You've found somebody else haven't you? WHO IS HE?!
---Okay, I should probably call it a day there, as my ankle monitor is
giving me mild electric shocks again.
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