Monday, 25 June 2012

25th June 2012

Okay. It's that time again. Time to once again assure you all that I'm still alive and that the Internet is still stupid. There has actually been a valid reason for the lack of updates beyond my laziness this time, but I'd rather not delve into that. So instead let's delve into the mailbag...!
I've been friends with a guy for a little while now and lately our relationship has got quite close. Recently I've not stopped thinking about him and I really like him. The trouble is he is really flirty with everyone and it is impossible to tell if he feels anything toward me or not. How on earth do you tie down a guy like that? Its not enough to just flirt a bit or act interested because he's so used to it from so many other girls!! I really need a little help - please!

When trying to tie down a guy like that, or any guy for that matter, you’ll want to use a fairly low gauge rope, and ideally something made of synthetic material like cotton or polypropylene for his comfort, rather than the industrial type stuff you used to climb in P.E.
As for the knots themselves you only really need to master a square (or reef) knot, and a clove hitch both of which are fairly simple to teach yourself. Or alternatively you could just cheat and pick up some bondage tape for about a tenner.
If you're still unsure, maybe you should consult fifty 'shades Of Grey'. That seems to be nothing but a bondage hot to guide... Errmmm... Or so I've heard at least.

I have been with my boyfriend for nearly two years and two weeks ago he suddenly had enough and we split up. He says that we fight alot and there is alot of paranoia. We obviously fight but who doesnt? He is gorgeous and very flirty and cheeky but i know nothing would ever come of it.

He tells me he still loves me and we are best friends. I need him back, ive stopped eating and sleeping all day. Please someone i need some advice to get my soul mate back.
 Funny enough this problem requires plenty of rope and you mastering knots. Since that's the only way you'll get him back at this point. Otherwise it's time to move the fuck on, you possessive bitch.


My last relationship was a disaster because the man I was with was completely wrong for me in every way. I'm 31 years old. When am I going to start picking men that are good for me or at least compatible?
It is far too late for that. You should have taken care of it in your twenties. Since you're now past your sell by date, settle for the male or sex toy that you see.


I am in a very loving relationship with my Girlfriend and we hope to get
However, I have the strongest urges to have sex with a man with me being the feminine partner. There is nothing that turns me on more than the tought of being dressed in sexy clothing and having a man inside me. It is something I want to try although I do not want to enter into a Gay relationship I do want to try, safe, casual gay sex.
I have never been unfaithful to my partner, but urges to try this are so strong I feel I now have to try it. I have been fighting these temptations for many years and no longer feel I can fight them any longer.
Would it be wrong for me to try and how would I set about finding a
partner to do the deed.

There’s an obvious solution here, and I don't know how many times I have to give this advice until you fuckers get it, but…
Even better, propose it on your girlfriends birthday, and she’ll think it’s a special treat for her, and will probably return the favour on your birthday by doing whatever you want.
Including dressing up as a lumberjack, fake beard and all, and sodomising you with a strap on dildo as you dress up as a French maid and call her Larry. If that doesn’t say romance, I don’t know what does!

Actually I think I stole that scenario straight from 'Fifty Shades Of Grey'. I'm off to check... Errmm... With one of my female friends who's read it and totally isn't me.

No comments: